Obama scripture lesson for June 9, 2008. The birth of the Hussein Creed.

From page 666 of A Short History of Obama

By Andrew Sullivan
Professor of Self Hatred Studies at the College of SouthEastern NorthWest Arlington Tech.


In the 1st month of the J.O. period (Just Obama) the emperor Axelrod gathered the Latte Tribe, the Arugula Tribe, The Champagne Socialists Tribe, the diaspora of Self Hating Gay Men for Obama, and various competing fag hag healers and leaders including Maria of the Shriver and Arianna of the Brentwood. They met in an upscale lounge in Chicago called "Sinclair's". Over a strenuous period of 4 minutes they pounded out a Universal Declaration of Beliefs for Obamites calling it The Hussein Creed - using Obama's given middle name because...well...the Apple Martinis had kicked in and it sort of rhymed with Nicene - so what the hell. Here is what it says:

The Hussein Creed

We believe in one Lord, Barry Obama,
the chosen Son of Daley,
eternally forgotten by his angry Father,
And hippie Mother.
Through Barry
all things were made.
For us and for our condescension.
He came down from Harvard,
was incarnate of the Spirit of Hyannis port and the Viper Michelle
and became truly human.
As was proven in the Pennsylvania Debate.

He will come in glory to demand the living and the dead,
get to the polls.
And trash who ever he feels is in his way,
while smiling and handing out cash and jobs.

And his kingdom will have no end.
Once we take over the military.

We believe in the Holy Media, the giver of lies,
who proceeds from the Lord,
We believe in one holy Democratic and Socialist Church.
Which we will only attend if the Pastor is
not videotaped.

We look for the Resurrection of the Dead
on voting rolls across swing states.

And demand tenure at mediocre universities
with full benefits and down time to
write for Mother Jones
and some tiny poetry journals
and get faded in our Jacuzzis
and complain about how unfair everything is.

Now and Forever
Amen.

A reading from the Obama Scriptures for May 30, 2008.

The Book of Jeremiah
Chapter 66
Verse 6

The Lord Joins Our Lady of Perpetual Resentment Temple
and Learns the Doctrine of Victimhood

Now after Lord Obama had passed through the land of Crimson
He traveled west to the Windy City
to organize block parties with cotton candy and Tilt-a-Whirls
so that he would be beloved by the makers of the Tilt -a-Whirl
and also to paddeth his resume

It was expedient in those days for those who organized
the block parties, knitting circles, and community gardens
to join the Our Lady of Perpetual Resentment Temple,
Staring Jeremiah Wright
(as the beaver.)

So the Lord went with the little people to
clap and enjoy the nursing of resentments
he had no historical connection to
since his father was Kenyan
and his mother from land of the JayHawk.

In the Temple of Resentment
the Lord also learned
how to BLAME OTHERS
and rename the blaming of others
HOPE
And this was a good lesson, indeed.

Lord Obama saw how the mentor Wright
encouraged people to laugh
and be angry
and remain immobilized
all at the same time.
And this was a good lesson, indeed.

And the Lord saw how the Temple made learned helplessness
FUN
For Mentor Wright dry humped the pulpit
and told tall tales
and called people names
and his gathered masses laughed and felt special.
And this was a good lesson, indeed.

And the Lord Obama learned it is important
to pass resentment
and victimization onto the young.
So when he, the Chosen One, preaches
Hope and Change
They will fall for it
Hooketh, line, sinker.
For Lord Obama this was the most important lesson of all.



And after every lesson he learned
at Our Lady of Perpetual Resentment Temple,
Lord Obama went out back
behind the dumpster
for to smoketh.



Holy Hopey Text courtesy of Future News.