The five people Obots meet in hell.

L.R. has it on good authority that a number of the most committed Obama activists are reporting near death experiences. The phenomenon, while not widespread, has occurred in Chicago, Berkeley, and around David Geffen's pool in Malibu. Remarkably, all report the same visions while technically - albeit momentarily - dead.

Unlike the usual tunnel ending with a white light, the activists all report entering a small room decorated with Che posters. Inside the room David Axelrod and William Ayres cackle deviously while mocking an angry looking man clinging to a gun and a bible. At some point all report Axelrod saying "Welcome, please partake of some kool-aid." After sipping, a hall with 5 doors appears. The "dead" Obots are then lead down the hall. "Now you must choose where you will spend eternity." Ayres interjects "Don't look at me you capitialist pig!"

Behind each door is a tiny windowless cell containing one person. All report the same five people.

Behind door number one a bug eyed Keith Olbermann is screaming "I am the king! I am the king! I AM THE KING!" at a knee buckling decibel and without pause.

Behind door number 2, is an even tinier cell with Chris Matthews. He is naked and rubbing his flabby thighs. He invites the Obot in saying "Touch them. They tingle. Feel the tingle. Please touch me, Obama supporter."

A still smaller cell is behind the third door. In it Rev. Phleger is mock crying and saying to the Obot "Oh you entitled whitey you must atone by listening to me preach forever. Forever! Wah Wah Wah."

Inside the minuscule cell behind the fourth door Randi Rhodes is hunched over microphone booming "Come in, you fucking whore. You are a whore!!! Ha Ha!"

Finally in the smallest windowless cell of all: Joe Biden just being himself.

Once all rooms have been visited Axelrod says simply "Choose your eternal life." In all cases the Obots begin to cry and yell out "I am sorry. So sorry. I was blind but now I see", running back down the hall.

After coming to, the Obots all report being changed people. All make a commitment to living rationally, to questioning all politicians no matter how much they like them. All come to terms with reality, committing to live in it. All promise to never call a women a cunt again. And all become kool aid teetotalers.

Strange but true.