Obama Pod Encounters of the Third Kind

Many of us having creepy stories to tell about Obama Pod Encounters. Scientists have now divided these encounters into three kinds defined as below:

Obama Pod Encounter of the First Kind (OPE1): The witness goes to a website run by a pod, sees a pod on television. This is classified as a safe encounter. Though many doctors now believe that repeated exposure may lead an otherwise sane person to have some mental distress. Limit time exposed to less than a few minutes a week.

Obama Pod Encounter of the Second Kind (OPE2): Indirect contact is made by a Pod. Places like this site often experience OPE2. Most are easy to spot and pose little danger. A comment is made that includes the words or phrases: "She's a bitch", "You're a Republican", "Baby boomers need to die!" "Clinton is a racist!" or just plain, "racist!"
However, some are more subtle. One recent comment here started out sane and, if not well reasoned, was at least calm but by the second paragraph this was dropped in "God has ordained that Obama be President." Beware of these weasels. They intend to draw you into a fight. Take up the fight - but always start on offense. Demand explanations of Obama's past and voting record. This often acts like Raid on roaches. Befuddled the Pod may try to avoid the assault by saying "But Hillary did..." Do not take the bait. Demand a real accounting of their candidate. Usually the Pod becomes confused, spins for a minute like a small dog about to take a shit, and then retreats. It may take some practice to stay on the offensive. But stay there you must.

Obama Pod Encounters of the Third Kind (OPE3): Face to face interaction. Many of us have unwittingly had these in our day to day lives. A pleasant greeting on the street turns into a crazy scene. I suggest something like this as a way to defend yourself:

Regular person: Hey - how are you? Nice to see you

Pod: Great. The election is crazy this year isn't it?

RP: Yes. Hard to believe what's going on.

Pod: I know. Isn't Obama great, though?

Pause to asses. Check for escape routes.

RP: Well, actually I support Clinton.

The Pod's face will visibly tighten. You have now been branded a racist in the Pod's mind.

P: (said with condescension - as to a child with the gimp leg) Oh. Really. You know the Clinton's are racist.

RP: That's not true. Where did you get an idea like that?

P: (Now becoming angry) Obama said so!

RP: Well, I think otherwise.

(the phrase "I think" will confuse the pod. This is a foreign concept to them - the moment of befuddlement gives an opening)

RP: Tell me - Why do you support Obama?

P: He gives me hope. I feel good when I see him and think about him. Don't you want hope?


RP: I have lots of hope already. Plenty of things inspire me. My kids, beautiful art, great writing, people helping in Darfur and New Orleans. All sorts of things are hopeful. Hillary is quite inspirational, too.

The Pod may exhibit manic behavior at this point. The ears pull back and the jaw becomes tight. The mind of the Pod races now - becoming somewhat reptilian. They may blurt out:

P: No you hate black people!

RP: That's absurd.

P: Nothing is hopeful except Barrack!

RP: He is not hopeful. He's scary.

P: What, what, what?? You evil racist dog! Change! We must change! You must be for Obama now or or

RP: Or what?

P: Supreme Court! McCain!

RP: I am not afraid of those things. Speak in sentences, please.


P: No! you bad! Barrack good! You most stupid! Iraq! They don't have maps! Such as! Hillary Bad! Bitch! Bosnia! Bad!

The pod may go on like this for a while. If you are feeling brave you may pursue with:

RP: But WHY do you support him other than he gives you hope?

P: You don't understand shit, you racist bitch! I am going to call...someone... on you...and then...you suck. You Republican troll!

Probably best to walk away at this point. If you continue on the offensive they can do no harm to you. But most are now beyond help from a lay person. If you truly care for the Pod call an Obama Pod Intervention Team. If not, let it go.

In the coming months we should all prepare for Obama Pod encounters.