Astrid's Mail Bag

By Astrid Passionfroot.

Hello my little passionfroots. I hope all your inner children are well behaved and in touch with their inner children today. All our inner children have inner children. Did you know that? Even our beloved leader Barack Obama has many onion layers of enlightenment. Each pungent and capable of producing tears. Barack is a tall babushka doll. Each of his inner children is more in tune with the universe than the one enclosing it. Barack is a multi-verse of universes flowing into the one mega-ultra universal mall of oneness.

The more we understand this about our enlightened leader the more we come to see the teeny tiny greatness wrapped in his gangly, handsome-ish babushka shell.

This understanding helps us to help our doubting fellow travellers who need help. On that note, last week I received this letter from a concerned Obot.

Dear Astrid-

I sometimes get sad and think I may have been duped into voting for Obama. My friends all told me how cool he was and I thought he looked cool too. But I am so confused now. Doesn't cool mean the same thing as ready to do the job? If so, why am I still waiting for him to do all those things he promised? Is it some secret plan like my friends tell me? Does he secretly have everything under control? Should I really be worried or should I have my friend from the tattoo shop clean my aura again?

Fretful Obot


Dear Fretful,

Why of course you were duped. Feel no shame about this. For we, the little ones, must be lead by the Great One who has come to grow our self esteem. HE is our manure. Sometimes it is hard to understand this and we get wee weeed about trivia, like heath care and war and other marginalia. But remember it is only in gazing upon the many layers of Barack that one can understand the nothingness that is HIM. In this nothingness is our liberation. Remember your salvation lies. Lie with it.

I sense you are less advanced than your friends. They should abandon you and call you names. This is our way. Alinsky the baptist did show us this way.

You probably work a job for a living and live in a trailer park. That is the aura that emanates from your email which you probably sent from the library because you hocked your PC for hooch. If you can manage to get into a county run treatment center for 30 days perhaps you won't ask such stupid questions.

All questions about Barack are stupid. HE is the center and light of this plane of existence. Therefore it is dumb to inquire after his plans for us. His plans are a mystery wrapped in an enema that we must use to flush out any doubt. His mysteries are like midnight fog, or the second season of Heroes. They come upon us suddenly and leave us baffled and a little moist.

The answers will come for all Barry's children who wait. But you must stop asking. You must numb your mind.

As for your aura, I suggest you clean it with a honey and lemon juice purge which you can purchase from me for $59.99 plus shipping and handling.

Yours in Barry,

Astrid