Diversity and Tolerance for all...except....

Diversity and Tolerance for all...except....

By Kara

Otis Redding said it best: "Oh she may be weary, and young girls, they do get weary..."

I ended the lyric there because the issue I am weary of is not that I am "wearing that same ol, shaggy dress"...What I am weary of is having another "conversation" about race. Don't get me wrong, I love a good conversation. I live for those conversations when all cylinders are firing and you and those you are talking to are open to each other. Few things are as satisfying as a great conversation.

A crucial part to any conversation is listening. I know, it sounds cliche and obvious, but we need to listen rather than wait for our turn to talk.

This brings me to my growing reluctance to talk about race.I am weary because it seems the conversation is not a conversation at all. I am tired of the canned speeches and lectures that end any real discussion. How can you have a conversation when the term racist is thrown around so carelessly? How can you talk about race when you cannot really share your opinions?

"Conversations" on race often end up being history lessons on the horrors and injustices that many Blacks, Latino's and non-Caucasians have gone through. I know the history, but is a recounting of the past really a conversation? I wonder what our goals are in these conversations about race that we are encouraged to have. I used to participate in such "conversations" during college with enthusiasm. I was a leader on campus, and I fought for women's rights and was campus student government leader (AKA nerd).

A student brought it to my attention that The Diversity and Tolerance Board was collecting signatures to try and have a Rush Limbaugh wanna-be journalist at the college paper removed. He wrote stupid columns and the most recent one offended many Native Americans. He insinuated that all Native Americans liked to drink to excess. This column came out during Native American Celebration Week.

The column was offensive and dumb.

However, many of us felt trying to censor the columnist was wrong, so myself, a black student, and a Pakistani student attended the next meeting to express our support for the First Amendment. We argued that addressing the columnist's opinions would be more powerful than suppressing the columnist. Further, the paper said it would not fire the journalist just because some of his articles were offensive to some. Even though my activist friends said the same thing to the board that I did, the members, mostly white male Liberal Professors, zeroed in on me.

To put it lightly, I was told that my whiteness basically made me an idiot when it came to anything dealing with "diversity." I was told that I could "walk around, feeling safe because of my white privilege." (Never mind that I am a woman.)They roasted me. My friends defended me, and I defended myself, but the lesson was learned. If I can go to a "Diversity and Tolerance Board" and get roasted for merely speaking up for the First Amendment, why should I bother touching an even more reactive topic like race? If you cannot be honest and share your feelings without being lectured and belittled, why participate?

I bet Eric Holder would think I am a coward. Maybe he is right.


Kara and her husband live in Wyoming.
Their blog is Come on, Pilgrims.



L.R. wants to here your views on race in the U.S.
Send your thoughts to john@liberalrapture.com

Guest Post: Another view on the race conversation

Matt is a theology student living in the South.

Another View On The Race Conversation

By Matt.

Just read your "Better things to do" (From Feb 22) post. I guess it's assumed that Holder was directing his comments at whites only...I didn't hear the rest of his comments so I'm not sure. I think lots of people of different races are afraid to talk about race and end up falling back into easy, rehearsed answers. In that sense, I think Americans can be cowardly on the issue of race.

But assuming Holder directed his comments only to whites, my own experiences lead me to different conclusions than your own. I've been lucky enough to have lots of interesting (to me, anyway) discussions about race with black people. Of course there are times when I feel that black folk quickly dismiss certain arguments as racist. But people of all races quickly assume the worst of their "opponent" in discussions about anything. It's not easy to have a really thoughtful discussion about anything, including race.

In any discussion where people are "attached to the problem," unless the people involved have some kind of trust and affection for each other, both sides will tend to assume the worst of someone who disagrees with them. Just look at the whole Clinton-Obama race. Obama supporters too often dismissed critics as racist, but Clinton supporters too often dismissed Obama supporters as sexist. Human beings are quick to find bias against their cause, beliefs, candidate, etc. That's honestly why I have found it difficult to read your posts. Your own tone is, at times, awfully similar to the kind of bitterness coming from Holder. Or at least that's how I've felt when reading some of your posts. In the Holder post you complain that most discussions about race are not conversations, but you seem so settled in your own views that you might be just as much part of the problem. That's why I liked when you wrote, " Maybe I'm wrong. Let's talk about it." Maybe that kind of humility is present in many of your posts, but I don't remember seeing it much.

Don't you think queer folk can be as quick to judge straight people as blacks are to judge whites? Whenever people feel intensely oppressed, it's hard to have a nice, quiet debate. My own experiences in places like Watts, Harlem, and Baltimore help me understand why black folk are pretty pissed off about some things. My own experiences as a gay man help me to understand why queer folk are pissed off. Of course thoughtful whites are not as attached to the problem of race as many blacks are...just like thoughtful straight people are not as attached to the problem of sexual orientation as queers are. The issue simply doesn't cause that fire in the belly that it does for people intimately affected by the issue.

As a white guy, I think there is real value in listening to black people's view of race more than chiming in with my own view. That doesn't mean that I'm silent in a conversation about race. I get mad and raise my voice and challenge people's assumptions. But hopefully I only do that after really listening and allowing others to get mad, challenge me, and raise their voice at me.

Better things to do.

Cowards? Are we cowards about race? I am cowardly about some things in my daily life. Race is not one of them. I would LOVE to talk about race. A lot. For extended periods.

The trouble - from my white male perspective - is that whenever a conversation about race is initiated it ends up being, in fact, not a conversation about race at all. Thoughtful people who do not tow a party line by spewing a litany of victimology bromides are quickly slapped down as "racist". This ends the conversation. There is a deep, deep attachment to the problem and very little intelligence directed toward a solution. Brutal truth: My experience tells me it is not thoughtful whites who are attached to the problem. Maybe I am wrong. Let's talk about that.

Holder called us "cowards" which is not exactly an invitation to speak freely. Nor was the relentless double think of the Obama Pods last year.

It is amazing and important to have a biracial candidate - but IF YOU DO NOT SUPPORT HIM YOU MUST NOT DISCUSS RACE AND YOU MUST BE A RACIST.

Deny it all you want. That is what happened last year. Openly. Smaller states that went for Clinton were full of "racists". There were South Carolina Obama rallies with thousands screaming "race doesn't matter." Except, of course, if Geraldine Ferraro voices her opinion. Then it matters - oh boy - does it matter. Can we talk about that? The Obama campaign's sneaky and vile attacks on the Clintons as racist is another example. Can we talk about that? Or how about the ongoing, secretive, relationship he has with Phleger - a man whose racism was, literally, put on a pedestal and blasted across Obama's church. Can we talk about that? Or Obama's embrace, then dismissal of Wright? Can we talk about that? Can I really say what I think about Jackson and Sharpton without being bullied and trashed like Ferraro? Can I say out loud that I do, in fact, see a deep corrupting influence in the Black "leadership" AND at the same time that I try diligently to comprehend the pain of the history of race in this country? As a white man am I allowed this?

Sure doesn't seem like it.

This "race conversation meme" is rightfully interpreted by many whites as "We talk. You listen" Why is it that the only whites that are given the megaphone are either blatant racists or 60s liberal apologists? There are other views. There are those of us who would like to have a real conversation in which EVERYONE is allowed to talk.

Here's a little truth I don't think gets spoken enough: Non racist Whites do not care about race to the same degree that Blacks do. (Racists of any color do care about race a great deal.) Since this is, by no fault of my own, not as pressing an issue for me as it is for some, I am left with having to make an effort. But the effort is never rewarded, and frankly, it is not pleasant being bulldozed into the stereotype chair whenever a view that might confront the real problem is introduced. It is not cowardice, Mr. Holder, it is annoyance and exhaustion.

Don't tell me we must "have a conversation about race" when you mean "let me talk about how badly Blacks have been treated." That is a different - though potentially valuable - talk.

In 2009, with the economy caving, the BRUTAL TRUTH is: this alleged conversation about race does not include me and so...wait for it...I don't care. Why don't I care? I feel no white guilt. I did. But I don't anymore. I got tired of it. It got me nowhere and, in the end was counter productive. Tough, but true.

Here is the real "conversation about race" I'd like to have: Black anger and frustration, and White guilt exhaustion. If "both sides" can talk as adults about this we'd make some progress.

Calling me a coward doesn't even make me angry. It is worse than that. It makes me shut people like Holder out. Or off - as the case may be. Feel free to jabber on about what a victim you are and what a coward I am. I have much more pressing things to attend to.