Obot-o-Scope for May 20,2009 - and Astrid's Mail Bag

By Astrid Passionfroot,

For we, the Chosen Ones for Obama, everyday is full of Hope and Change. Today you may also find yourself feeling existential despair, complete revulsion at our President's embrace of Cheney's Torture Policy, a general sense of ennui mixed with occasional dashes of free floating horror, and the impulse to strip, pull at your hair, and run screaming down the street naked because you just realized you've been totally buffaloed by a George Soros concocted, MSM midwifed fraud.

Fear not people of Obama! All you need to do is limit your interaction with those you are not supporters of the one true genius, Barack Obama. Avoid these racists and everything will be back to normal quickly.


A letter from the Obot-o -Scope Mailbag:


Dear Astrid,

In August I will be opening an Obama merchandise store here in Santa Monica called The O'Bottery Barn. Astrologically, what is the best day for the Grand Opening?

Thanks,

Jiggy Pop
Santa Monica, CA



Dear Jiggy,

There really isn't a good day in August, except the 12th when the Obama moon wanes and enters the House of the Rising Solar Deficits. I'd go with the 12th. Even here the danger is high for an unfortunate accident especially with certain items I see on your website. In particular the Barack Wok, Obama Balm with foaming, blinding analgesic, the Napolitano Neapolitan Frozen Pudding Pops, and the Joe Biden Vibrating, Talking Shower Head. All come up as potential threats to consumers throughout August.

The star chart around the Biden Talking Shower Head is especially risky. It indicates that people who take long showers while the Biden face on the nozzle is speaking show an increased risk of performing ritual suicide in a public park within 48 hours.

If possible I'd push your grand opening back to September. After Labor Day Pluto returns from Retrograde and Mars enters Rehab, rendering the Biden Talking Shower Head essentially harmless - except for the occasional unnoticed mini stroke.

Best of Luck, though! Barry Be With You!

Astrid.