A reading from The Obama Scriptures for 3/12/09

A Reading From the Obama Scriptures for 3/12/09

The beginnings of the LORD'S NEW WORLD

From the Song of Pelosi.
Chapter 1.


Listen, little children, this is how the New EARTH began and the new Land called Obamamerica was borneth.

And so it came to pass in those days that the Lord spent his days in the Oval, handing out DVDs and macaroni sculptures of himself to visiting dignitaries. For The Lord knew he was all knowing and perfect, so the Lord solved all the problems of the earth at once.

On day one the Lord Obama said: Let there be more money. And he did printeth more money. And the Lord went out back to Smoketh a Camel light and said I am good. Oh so good.

On the second day the Lord Obama said: Let my friends and allies populate the land. And more money was printeth for the Lord's friends called ACORN, Fannie, and Freddie. And the Lord smoketh a Tareyton out back, pleased with his amazing skills as a leader.

On the Third DAY: The Lord said let all the people have health care and all the school they wanteth. Even the dumb ones, especially the dumb ones. And the Lord did printeth more money. And went out back for to smoketh a Virginia Slims Menthol and spend some quality time looking into small hand mirrors David Axelrod and Clair McCaskill held up for him.

On the Fourth Day the Lord did rest, for three days in a row was the most he'd ever worked. And the Lord did desire a rally for the people to loveth him. So he ordered one to be staged. Then wenteth to see The Pelosi,who washed his feet with her tears. Which were fake, as her tear ducts were sealed shut from all the botox.

The Pelosi then said: "Lord what about the banks? Have you a plan?"

And the Lord rose, stubbed out his Lucky Strike no filter and said,
"Listen little Pelosi and you shall learn. Give to Cesar Milan what is Cesar Chavez's. For the meek shall inherit the dearth. We the people have been waiting too long to change the one we have been waiting for, which is me, so answer the door and stop waiting for if you really thought you were the one you were waiting for you are a fucking idiot. The only fear we have to hope for is fearful hope. Change rhymes with strange. Listen and you shall knock. Knock and you shall hear. Hear and you shall listen. I'd rather fight than switch. Race doesn't matter, except sometime when it does. Therefore our banking system will say YES WE CAN!"

And the lord did sit.

The pelosi did weep for joy again. For the Lord did speaketh as one who knows. And she washed his feet with the last of Harry Reid's hair and soothed the Lord's face with moist towelettes from the Air Force jets she commandeered.

And so it is.