Open letter to Barry.
By Jayne Payne,
Dear Barack,
I am really upset after last Tuesday night. If the first King, King George, had gotten these Teabaggers under control we wouldn't have this problem. My mind is spinning right now.
Barry, I think we can turn this around. I am sorry to get so personal. (It is just a tingling I get. I don't even watch Tweetie.) I have a five point plan. I know you are shaking your head right now wondering what Gibbsey or Rham will say but hear me out.
Number ONE: We bring back the Sugar Act. The twist being we tax Splenda. I know if these teabaggers have time to make their own signs they have to be agile. We tax Splenda and bingo! They either pay the tax or start using real sugar, which will slow them down. Barry that would be a plus for us.
Number Two: We tax Poster board. This is brilliant. I mean we show up at every get together with printed signs...hope and change..They show up with signs, get this, printed out in magic marker. Sometimes I have seen crayons used. I mean how lame is an actual heartfelt printed sign. Can a sign that says "Shove this down our throats, and we will shove it up your ass in 2010" compare to us. There is no comparison. CASE CLOSED THERE.
Number Three: Quartering act. We can actually kill a few birds with this stone.
Get this. We take the census and add questions, like how many live in your household? We calculate and Bingo! You have a five bedroom waterfront house and only use one bedroom? We can move more needy people in. Share the wealth so to speak. But the best part is NO TAX DOLLARS needed. A win win situation.
Number Four: Massachusetts Government Act, We deny any more town hall meetings. Simple...Oh man Barry, that wrote itself, and coupled with FISA...done deal.
Number Five. We Impose the Boston Port Shilling Act. No more Red Sox Games. Period.
That will teach them. I'm not sure who the Bruins are, but we should ban that too.
There is something to be said for Power.
Your Most loyal OBOT lieutenant,
Jayne Pain
PS. and it is time to break out the Greek Columns we all know and love.
Disclaimer Jayne is not related to Thomas.
Dear Barack,
I am really upset after last Tuesday night. If the first King, King George, had gotten these Teabaggers under control we wouldn't have this problem. My mind is spinning right now.
Barry, I think we can turn this around. I am sorry to get so personal. (It is just a tingling I get. I don't even watch Tweetie.) I have a five point plan. I know you are shaking your head right now wondering what Gibbsey or Rham will say but hear me out.
Number ONE: We bring back the Sugar Act. The twist being we tax Splenda. I know if these teabaggers have time to make their own signs they have to be agile. We tax Splenda and bingo! They either pay the tax or start using real sugar, which will slow them down. Barry that would be a plus for us.
Number Two: We tax Poster board. This is brilliant. I mean we show up at every get together with printed signs...hope and change..They show up with signs, get this, printed out in magic marker. Sometimes I have seen crayons used. I mean how lame is an actual heartfelt printed sign. Can a sign that says "Shove this down our throats, and we will shove it up your ass in 2010" compare to us. There is no comparison. CASE CLOSED THERE.
Number Three: Quartering act. We can actually kill a few birds with this stone.
Get this. We take the census and add questions, like how many live in your household? We calculate and Bingo! You have a five bedroom waterfront house and only use one bedroom? We can move more needy people in. Share the wealth so to speak. But the best part is NO TAX DOLLARS needed. A win win situation.
Number Four: Massachusetts Government Act, We deny any more town hall meetings. Simple...Oh man Barry, that wrote itself, and coupled with FISA...done deal.
Number Five. We Impose the Boston Port Shilling Act. No more Red Sox Games. Period.
That will teach them. I'm not sure who the Bruins are, but we should ban that too.
There is something to be said for Power.
Your Most loyal OBOT lieutenant,
Jayne Pain
PS. and it is time to break out the Greek Columns we all know and love.
Disclaimer Jayne is not related to Thomas.
posted by John Smart at
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
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