Life in Libertopia

by 'tamerlane'

It's fashionable of late to flirt with Libertarianism. As everyone seems to have their own definition of "libertarian," I thought it best to go straight to the horse's mouth. The national Libertarian Party ("LP") declares:

"Libertarians strongly oppose any government interfering in their personal, family and business decisions."

The 250,000 odd members of the LP are convinced most Americans will realize they are libertarians, too, once they know the LP platform. So let's take a look at what sort of life, based on official LP positions, awaits us in "Libertopia."

Personal Freedom / Personal Responsibility

"Individuals should be free to make choices for themselves and to accept responsibility for the consequences of the choices they make."

The cornerstone of life in Libertopia is absolute personal freedom, and the LP often gets praise for supporting gay equality and women's choice. The LP also extends "personal freedom" to things like: no formal IDs or drivers' licenses, no obscenity laws, no eminent domain, and the legalization of all "recreational" drugs, including heroin, cocaine, and meth.

The obverse of the coin is "personal responsibility," meaning no one should ever be assisted in any way by government-no unemployment benefits, no medicare, no food stamps, no children's protective services-it's sink or swim. An exception will be made for the neediest among us-big businesses, who'll get assistance via the opening of markets and the removal of all regulations.

Crime & Public Safety

In Libertopia, you're free to do whatever you want, but you're also personally responsible for preventing others from doing whatever they want to you. For "a society can only be safe from crime when its citizens are armed." Which explains the rampant crime rates in Denmark and England, and the orderly safety of places like Houston and Oakland.

To facilitate converting your home into an impregnable fortress, there'll be no "restriction, regulation or licensing of the manufacture or private ownership of weapons." With a claymore on the porch, and a flamethrower on your night stand, you can sleep soundly.

But, if you do perchance fall victim to a crime, don't worry: your attacker will be personally responsible for reimbursing you for damages. If your own private criminal happens to be broke, you can always sell one of his kidneys on eBay.

Crime will in any case be virtually non-existent in Libertopia, since all drugs will be legal and cheap. People who chose to be addicts will be able to support their lifestyle choice with their wages from Kinkos, and won't need to rip off your stereo. Police can divert resources from drugs to catching the robbers that somehow evaded the IEDs buried in your lawn.

Role of Government

In Libertopia, the role of the government will be limited to: 1) protecting individual & property rights; 2) defending against foreign invasion. Those antiquated responsibilities of regulating commerce, providing postal service, 'promoting the general welfare', etc., will be outsourced, since "every service supplied by the government can be provided better and cheaper by private business." The government will be permitted a limited role in the economy to provide laissez faire encouragement of tree trade.

Education

As "education, like any service, is best provided by the free market," there'll be no public schools in Libertopia.

Health Care

It goes without saying that government will stay out of healthcare, since "federal programs are the cause of skyrocketing healthcare costs. A free market without regulation will ensure the highest quality healthcare." To help reduce your medical bills, there'll be no pesky oversight of doctors or hospitals. Insurers will be free to decline coverage to the disabled, or for any diseases or conditions. And by abolishing the FDA, big pharmas won't have the tedious burden of proving their drugs are safe & effective, and they'll pass the savings on to you.

Social Security

Everyone will be permitted to opt out of Social Security and open private retirement accounts. To cover the benefits of people still in the program, the government can simply sell off its assets. Like Yellowstone, or NASA.

Poverty & Welfare

The way to end poverty is to emphasize personal responsibility. The free market "allocates resources in the most efficient manner;" programs that "redistribute wealth" are simply not "proper." Public assistance in any case only promotes poverty, as does public education. But if you chose to help out ne'er-do-wells privately, your charitable contribution will receive a 100% tax credit.

Budget and Taxes

Since the government will have so little to do in Libertopia, the federal income tax can be repealed. By law, the government will be forced to balance its budget annually, always by cutting programs and never by raising taxes.

Business & Labor

Your personal prosperity and well-being will be secured by liberating business from the shackles of government interference. In Libertopia there'll be:

-No zoning laws;

-No regulations of any kind on industries;

-No restrictions on monopolies;

-No regulation of claims made in advertising;

-No mandatory retirement age;

-No workplace safety regulations

-No minimum wage.

Banks and financial institutions will not be supervised. With no FDIC around to

babysit you, you'll be personally responsible for making sure the bank that has your life savings doesn't go belly-up.

Barter will be encouraged in Libertopia-a good idea, as there won't be a national currency.

Immigration

The booming economy of Libertopia will require more immigrant workers, "who take jobs Americans don't want." Borders will therefore be completely open-just walk right in; no need to show us your non-existent passport.

Environment

Since "government is the primary cause of pollution," the environment will flourish in Libertopia. As "it is in their own self-interest for private businesses to protect the environment", private ownership of ecosystems and even of species will be the best way to preserve them. Naturally, all national parks and wildlife sanctuaries will be auctioned off.

Foreign Policy & Defense

The Libertopian military will be limited to resisting direct invasions. All oversees military bases will be closed, and "entangling alliances", like NATO, cut. In event of an attack, it's hoped that citizens will volunteer to fight, but of course there'll never be conscription. All government documents will be unclassified, so everyone can keep abreast of our military plans.

There'll be no foreign aid, but our government will support struggling foreign nations by sponsoring private investment by US corporations. All tariffs and trade regulations will be eliminated, allowing you and me to compete toe-to-toe with foreign workers.

A Long Legacy of Success

'Life in Libertopia sure sounds idyllic,' you're probably saying, 'but could it really work? Isn't it just a fantasy?' Not at all! At the heart of Libertarianism is the concept of anarchy-all government is bad. History is replete with examples of successful anarchist societies. Mankind's progress is a legacy of gradual movement from big, centralized governments to small, local, or even non-existent ones. In fact, the greatest achievements of civilization-the arts, medicine, science, cultivation, aqueducts, roads, cities, sanitation-have all come under the benevolent wing of anarchy. In a Libertopia, anything is possible!

(c) 2009 by 'tamerlane.' All rights reserved.