Skylar Speaks at Obamaholics Anonymous Meeting on 1/25/10

Skylar: Hi My name is Skylar and I am an Obamaaholic.

Group Says "Hi Skylar" Group leader hands Skylar a 1 year "O"briety chip.

Skylar: This is my 365th day after I took the Andy Warhol type portrait of Obama down from the ceiling above my bed. , and, like, I did not wait for myself to arrive all year. Not once!

Group applauds and laughs.

Because, you guys all know what happens when the disease takes over. I was just a normal dude before I became an Obamaholic. Obamaholism took everything from me. My girlfriend, my sanity, my ability to think critically, my ability to respect different points of view. I became obsessed with race even though I was telling everyone race did not matter.

Many Obamaholics in the room nod their heads.

I began to find I had contempt for women. I couldn't help it really. I just felt women should subjugate their ideas and thoughts to Barack. It wasn't like he told us that. It was just the songs he chose and the signals he sent. And I told my gay friends to get over their anger! Can you believe it? I was always for respect and dignity no matter what - but I was telling people to shut up and let Barack "reach across the aisle" even though it meant betraying them. It was like all my core principles were gone. Just gone.

Then he began bombing Pakistan with those drones. And something snapped. It was like whoa I thought this dude was all about peace and hope. I rolled over one morning after a year long bender of Obamaholism and my girlfriend was gone. All my money was gone. My house was empty except for Obama posters everywhere, a small TV, a moldy half eaten cake in the fridge that said "Yes we..." , and a small man named "Stu" who told me he'd moved in the previous May.

So I came to my first O.A. meeting that night. I felt right at home. It is so great to be with other recovering Obamaholics. Slowly I am beginning to see how this is a disease of idol worship. False idols. And how dangerous it is to worship idols. The most dangerous time for all of us with this disease is the moment we realize we've been worshipping a false god. We lash out at others or ourselves. Some times denial becomes so dense we lose all contact with reality. Or we just become depressed and isolate waiting for the next false idol to come along... Some of us here are old enough to remember Deanaholics Anonymous.

The group laughs.

But we can break the cycle with the steps and a good sponsor. Reality is better than Obamaholic delusions. Even though sometimes it is less fun. I have to live with the knowledge that I helped create the mess we are in by refusing to ask questions for so long. By being in such thick denial about my Obamaholism. Everyday I live with that.

But one day at a time I am recovering from this disease of the mind and soul. Thanks for being here for me.

Group applauds. Skylar leaves the podium. The group leader for the day says "Now I'll read the steps before we share.

1. We admitted we were powerless over Obamaholism and that our lives had become unmanageable...