Owning "marriage"

I overslept and do not have a lot to say this morning. I responded to a post reader Kara linked in the comments last night...a Rick Warren interview. Kara and I pretty much agree on this issue...and I am really foggy right now...and I have an arduous day of college football ahead. So my comments are my morning post- punched up a wee bit as the coffee kicks in:


Thanks for the link, Kara. Just read it . The trouble I have with Warren was not assuaged. His arguments are soothing but foolish. He states he is for equality for everyone but wants to take possession of the word "marriage" using lame historical excuses....for five thousand years all societies have... agreed on quite a lot, actually:

-Until recently slavery was the norm in many...for 5 thousand years
-Most societies have been and remain male dominated - for 5 thousand years
-War is a part of all societies for the last 5 thousand years.

The same "5 thousand year" argument could be made to re-institute slavery, or create a monarchy here, or legalize child beating....

What's so weird about Warren in this piece is his attempt to CLAIM the word marriage. Which is his way of saying "some loving couples are more valued than others." without saying it. "You Gays are nice, so you can have everything except this". He has no logical reason for denying this one thing to gays - except ill conceived "history". But still this word "marriage" must be wholly owned by heterosexuals- (even though in many - if not most - cases they have made the institution a joke and/or a torture chamber)

That is the rub: Why "marriage" for gays is so contentious for many straights - It cuts at the heart of too many fantasies about family, Father God in the Sky, and perfect romance. Making sure that gays and lesbians do not get a seat at the ADULT table allows conservatives to persist in the "nuclear family is the supreme unit of society" horseshit.

"Mommy. Daddy, kids, car, pets" as the fundamental social construct is a very recent development - say the 1920s-50's or so. Throughout "history" as Warren likes to say - it actually took a clan, or - as Hillary reminded us - it took a village to raise a child.

(What most white conservative Americans can't abide is hearing that the 1950s sucked for a lot of people. Blacks, women with ambition, gays...and so on and so forth.)

Gays should not be expected to sign off on second class status so close minded conservatives can keep their delusions alive.Also, Gays are not some post-war phenomenon that arrived with hippies and fluoridated water. Hard to believe, I know, but homos have been around for...well...at least 5 thousand years just like the wheel, alphabets, and Phyllis Schlafly.

In some ways the "nice" evangelicals are worse than the monsters. At least the monsters are upfront. Rick Warren doesn't want to reach out to Gays in any real sense. He wants to look loving and expansive while maintaining the unequal status quo - rather like El Presidente Obama, come to think of it. An updated version of "I am not a bigot. I have black friends, I swear!"

Being handed warm blankets at the back of the bus by nice evangelicals, and told to sleep well in a kindly voice- will not shut gays up. Separate but equal did not work before and it won't work now.