A reading from The Obama Scriptures - The Lord takes a Holiday.

For it came to pass in those days that the LORD was tired.
Nearly every day for over a week
He had to travel-eth on the plane-eth his peep-eths bought for him
And when he landed he had to speak from the TelePrompter
For when he speaketh from the teleprompter the Lord was GOOD.

Still, the Lord was knackered. He had to go about accepting the love of so many.
And when they fainted he had to call for Evian water.
And this was exhausting, as anyone in the lord business know-eth.

And this one timeth the Lord was asked a hard question.
For the reporter forgot his ass kiss pledge.
And the hard question exhausted The Lord
And the reporter who forgot the ass kiss pledge was
smited and smoted. And sent to live in the baggage hold.

After the Day Of The Hard Question
The Lord went to Hawaii.
For The Lord needed- eth a ficken break-eth.
In Hawaii he played frisbee golf, so he would look cool.
and he played RISK for to learn foreign policy.
For a war began in Georgia
and the Lord was confused.
For Georgia had been a primary victory for the Lord.
And he did not understand why a war came to pass there.


So he played Risk, Battleship and Stratego with Michelle.
After he had sunketh many battleships
The Lord came to understand foreign policy:
If you sunketh battleships and had the most little plastic army figurines
you could do whatever you wanted.
The Lord also learned:
Australia was easy to defend.
Eurasia, not so much.

After he played Stratego for many hours,
Michelle asked if he wanted to play Operation or another game.
And the Lord was angry and he asked three questions
which many still ponder to this day:

"What shall it benefit a man to play Operation?
Can one find a path to the White House playing Uncle Wiggley?
Shall a man learn the nuances of foreign policy or play Parcheesi?"
No! No! I am the Lord! There shall be no games before me except: Risk, Stratego, Battleship, and sometimes Connect 4...but only if you promise to let me win."

Then it came to pass that all the Lord's nicorette had been chewed
so he bummed a Tareyton from the maid and went out back for a smoketh.

and the Lord was still angry so he decided to teach everyone a lesson
and he thought of that one time Greg Brady disappeared under the wave
in the 3 part Brady Bunch episode when they went to Hawaii.

So the Lord went surfing and disappeared under a wave.

And he held his breath for almost a minute....and thought of many things.

to be continued



Next time: The Lord gets sassy at Saddleback.