Can't Touch This

Everything is off limits.

Senator Obama tells the Republicans to LAY OFF MY WIFE.

Michelle Obama was speaking at a campaign rally (she went on to repeat it at another rally) when she said "For the first time in my adult life I'm proud of my country."

So Ms. Obama can campaign for the Senator, on her own, but her words don't matter and she cannot be questioned.

You cannot use Senator Obama's middle name.

You cannot question why he went to a racist church for twenty years.

You cannot question his association with Rezko and how Mr. Obama bought his dream house.

You cannot question his association with William Ayers and are supposed to accept Senator Obama's assertion that "he's just a guy in the neighborhood." Don't look deeper and see that Obama worked for him for eight years.

You cannot question plagerism - after all, they're just words.

You must accept the new Electoral Math that says that Florida, Ohio and Michigan don't matter to Democrats.

You have to believe that North Dakota with three electoral votes is more important than Florida. AND, you have to believe that Senator Obama is going to grab those three key votes.

You have to be concerned about the price of arugula when you can't afford gas.

You must not worry about Senator Obama calling a reporter, "Sweetie."

You cannot believe your lying eyes because Senator Obama didn't flip off Senator Clinton.

You have to buy that Donna Brazille is undeclared.

You have to re-learn geography. You have to welcome seven new states into our nation. Maybe that's how he wins the Electoral College. You must believe that Sioux City is now in South Dakota and the Great Lakes are in Oregon.

There can be no discussion about Senator Obama's record in the Illinois State Senate or that Senator Obama said two years ago he wasn't ready to be President.

You cannot say that Senator Obama's healthcare plan leaves millions uninsured.

You cannot bring up the fact that Senator Obama doesn't know what language they speak in Afghanistan. It's not like Afghanistan matters.

You cannot wonder why Senator Obama performs so badly at debates and off the cuff. His scripted, plagiarized speeches are, after all, inspirational and make your legs tingle. (There is a medication for that now.)

So, what can you talk about?

He's charming. He gives you hope. He represents change. He's a new kind of politician.

Otherwise, you're racist.