my interview Scott McClellan

I ran in to Scott McCLellan over at the Jack in the Box at Sunset and Vine. On the spot - I asked Scotty for an interview - and, since he's been so gracious with media since the Koran story broke - he agreed. Here it is in total.
LR: Laura Bush said today that the riots in Afganistan could not be blamed entirely on Newsweek. Any response?
SM: Well, then CBS is to blame.
LR: CBS?
SM: Everything bad is because of CBS or Newsweek.
LR: What about the photos of Saddam in his skivvys?
SM : CBS
LR: Huh, I thought the Sun tabloid bought them from an American soilder
SM: That was Howard Fineman in a scout leader uniform.
LR: OH. Hmm. That's news to me.
SM: Stop watching news. Only watch me. Only listen to me.
LR: So the President's social security plan is falling flat - Any explanation.
SM: Newsweek.
LR: Really. I don't follow.
SM: If Bush is unpopular for any reason it is the fault of Newsweek.
LR: Really? What if mistakes were made in the White House?
SM: Not Possible.
LR: Okay- what about the lack of WMD's?
SM: CBS took them after we invaded and hid them. There are under the Price is Right set.
LR: Is Bush concerned about the explosion of the deficit under his leadership?
SM: The deficit was caused when Newsweek and CBS robbed Fort Knox. Dan Rather is sharing the money with Fidel Castro.
LR: Today Bush said photos don't cause people to murder - and yet you seemed to blame Newsweek for causing the deaths of a score of rioters.
SM: Newsweek has ruined America's image abroad. Newsweek caused the hurricanes in Florida. Newsweek took out the feeding tube. Newsweek caused the war of 1812. Newsweek is responsible for all pot holes on every street in every city in the whole world.

At this point his voice trailed off and he looked out the window longingly at Ameoba records. Then sipping on his Coke he said - "It's flat. Damn CBS. The liberal elite has ruined all fountain drinks. During the 50's fountain drinks were never flat. Bill Clinton took the bubbles. If people beleive in evolution all Coke goes flat. This is in the bible. Lyndon Johnson is alive in an undisclosed location secretly running the New York Times and betting on cock fights. Only bush knows the truth. Only bush is a true leader. Only bush can save us from Dan Rather, and Newsweek, LBJ, and evolution and the gays, and...and.."

Then he broke down. And I left.

It was, after all, such a nice day.