Stranger in a Strange Land

So Jesus arrives in Washington, our nation's capitol. He's pretty impressed with what they've done with Union Station. He goes over to Arlington National cemetery to see the Faces of the Fallen exhibit. He takes the Metro back over to the Capitol. Sees lots of big, SUVs with yellow ribbons on them. Passes a few homeless people begging for change. The usual tourist stuff.

He meets up with President Bush.

President Bush: Hey, you know I'm born again.

Jesus: That's great. What have you been doing with yourself?

PB: You know, little of this, little of that. You'd be proud,though, I came back from vacation to save a dying girl.

Jesus: Wow, stellar. What about the baby in Houston?

PB: uh

Jesus: I went and saw the Faces of the Fallen, have you been?

PB: No, been meaning too, busy schedule.

Jesus: Right, I understand. I'm a little confused by the war you started. Help me out here, what were you thinking?

PB: Freedom on the march, democracyJesus: What about freedom for Darfur?

PB: Well, we, the thing is, well, we, I mean Secretary of State Powell said it didn't meet the legal definition of genocide, then he, I mean we, well we thought it did...nice shoes by the way.

Jesus: Flip flops in winter are a fashion choice.

PB: So anyway, the damn, ooh, sorry, the French want to help out but they, well, they want to use this whole International Criminal Court and we, uh, we don't like it.

Jesus: Mmmmkay, we'll let that slide for now. Why don't you tell me your Social Security Plan.

PB: I don't really have a plan, more of an idea.

Jesus: We really liked the New Deal where I come from.

PB: Yeah, yeah, I'm sure, yeah, but we want an ownership society. Folks that own things take care of them, yeah....

Jesus: I see where you're going but I'm sure, since you've been born again, you want to take care of the poor.

PB: You bet, we, I, us, ownership society will help the poor, see?

Jesus: I'm not really clear on that. Let's talk Gay Marriage and your constitutional amendment.

PB: Wow, you know your US history.

Jesus: I pay attention.

PB: Well the bible says..Jesus: I apologize for interrupting but I hope you're not going Old testament here.

PB: Leviticus says

Jesus: I know, I know. But let me point something out to you, though I try to be humble, the calendar is based on my birth. Do you call yourself a Leviticusian?

PB: um

Jesus: Maybe you can work on it...you could start by attending a funeral of a service man or woman, either is fine. Get out of Iraq, raise the minimum wage, forget the whole Social Security thing, lose the tax cuts for the rich, honor all people regardless of color, creed, sex or orientation, take care of the environment, stop torturing people

PB Wait wait, you can't be serious. I'm born again, I believe in you. I'll lose my base.

Jesus: OK, I've gotta go, I wanted to catch Ted Kennedy before he leaves town.

PB: Wait, it's Easter, why don't you come over and hunt eggs with the kids?

Jesus: Thanks for the invite but I'm rising on Sunday so I'll be pretty busy. I'm also going out to Minnesota to sooth some souls there.

PB: Yeah, they must be pretty upset

Jesus: It's a sad situation

PB: No teams in the Tournament this year, that's tough

Jesus: I've really gotta run...looks like snow, crazy weather for March, shame about the global warming.